Another's Reality Is Not About My Needs

I was listening to someone’s reality about being surrounded by people who behave unconscionably—an unfathomable reality. If one experiences it, one knows it. In these moments, I think it’s imperative to…

• allow space for another’s reality to exist

• validate

• empathize

However, while validating and empathizing, I didn't feel I was doing enough to help. So my brain jumped forward and brought up an additional issue.

I thought the additional issue would show extra validation and empathy. But I forgot to provide full context, so it could not have possibly sounded related.

Essentially, I stole the space meant for another’s reality to exist. Then I added something that didn’t sound related (to soothe a feeling I was having). All in an attempt to better help.

I didn’t realize what I did until I later reflected. And I’m now deeply embarrassed.

I now fear I came across as unable to grasp another's reality—as if I saw their reality as equal to an additional issue, which it could never be. And I feel horrified by this.

Instead, when I want to help more than I already am, I need to just quietly witness those feelings of mine then let them pass and dissipate.

This will allow room for another’s reality to exist. Then I need to validate and empathize with their reality. Because another’s reality is not about my needs.