We Can Always Change Our Minds. We Have That Right. No Matter What.
Years ago, while reading a beautiful book on boundaries, one of the most important lessons I learned was that I can always change my mind. That we all have that right. No matter what.
When making my own decisions. About my personal life. I didn’t know it was okay to change my mind.
Because I had been so imprinted to do what others wanted me to do … with my personal life … I automatically did what others insinuated or told me to do … with my personal life.
In pain. In fear. With doubt. Feeling lost.
I can’t begin to describe how horrible it was to experience those feelings as part of each day.
Yet I had the right and responsibility to take care of my personal needs? I could even change my mind? To ensure I made the best personal decisions for myself? Who knew?
If I decide to eat something, I have the right to change my mind. I can eat something else.
If I decide to wear something, I have the right to change my mind. I can wear something else.
If I decide to learn a skill, I have the right to change my mind. I can learn a different skill.
If I decide to volunteer somewhere, I have the right to change my mind (while giving proper notice). I can volunteer somewhere else.
If I decide to go to college somewhere, I have the right to change my mind. I can go to college somewhere else.
If I decide to go to college full-time during the day, I have the right to change my mind. I can go to college part-time during the day, part-time at night—or even remotely.
If I decide to work somewhere, I have the right to change my mind (while giving two weeks’ notice). I can work somewhere else.
If I decide to interview someone, I have the right to change my mind. I can interview someone else. I can interview as many people as necessary, to ensure I find the right fit for the job.
If I decide to hire someone’s services, I have the right to change my mind. I can hire someone else completely. Or nobody at all.
If I decide to associate with someone, I have the right to change my mind. I can associate with someone else. Or nobody at all.
If I said yes to someone, I have the right to change my mind. I can say no. At. Any. Time.
Because reality reveals itself in little bits and pieces each step of the way, I must pause to look at all the facts, check in with my gut, and responsibly decide which personal decisions I want to make each step of the way.
Little or big, my personal life decisions are impactful. They get to be researched from all angles—without pressure, fear, or obligation. They deserve all the thinking time I want to give them.
do I fully understand this personal choice?
what are all the facts?
does my gut hesitate for any reason?
why is my gut hesitating?
is it safe?
how might it harm me?
how might this choice harm my loved ones?
am I being influenced by anyone?
am I following someone with a history of controlling others?
We can’t always know the answers until we take baby steps into researching and gathering data. So I always have the right to change my mind and take steps elsewhere. No matter what.
My explanation can remain as private as necessary for safety, and still be polite and honest…
Something’s come up and I have to make a personal change of plans. I’m so sorry. Thank you so much for understanding.
What’s come up? Little bits and pieces. Data along the way. Facts. And I listened. I made a personal decision that’s a better fit for my personal life.
This is how I make my own wise personal decisions.
I can always change my mind. I have that right. No matter what.